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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

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Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Trending via Messenger:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Going viral on YouTube:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Going bananas on X:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Trending via Snapchat:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Trending via Reddit:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Trending via WhatsApp:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
💦✨ "Guess I need lessons on how to sparkle like a disco ball! Anyone got a beginner’s guide to glistening?" 😂💎

banter, confusion, girlfriend, humor, just, me, misunderstanding, playful, playful banter, relationship, whatever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

1 month ago
communication, going, greeting, humor, intention, sleep
Have you tried making guacamole about it?

1 month ago
cooking, food, guacamole, humor, making, pun, tried, wordplay
I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

1 month ago
age, aging, behavior, bottle, enough, everyone, getting, humor, i, ibuprofen, medicine, painkiller, pull, rude, rude behavior, sharing, where
Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

2 months ago
argue, away, ex, humor, just, me, relationship, remind, say, walk
My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

1 month ago
boss, day, finished, humor, i, job, just, left, means, office, productivity, work
“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

1 month ago
accept, bigger, bigger person, disrespect, growth, humor, irony, much, person, personal, personal growth, self-respect, sounds, too

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

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Activity Log ✨

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

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My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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