Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,312

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Live now on WhatsApp:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Just shared via Telegram:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Making waves on YouTube:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Going viral on Telegram:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Shared recently on Slack:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wi-Fi 10/10, social skills buffering 😂📶

communication, humor, internet, introvert, loneliness, motivation, socialize, socializing, technology, Wi-Fi, wifi, willpower

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

0

2 months ago

bad, bowl, candy, diet, Halloween, health, humor, salad, sweet, treat, trick, trick or treat
Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

0

2 months ago

90s, activity, arcade, fix, fun, fun activity, gaming, kombat, me, mortal, Mortal Kombat, nostalgia, playing
Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

0

4 months ago

2, 6, alone, am, being, broke, day, debt, everything, faith, humor, man, men, optimism, sleep, stay, stereotype, still, wake, wake up, work
69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

0

1 month ago

2, call, couple, date, dinner, food, humor, i, nasty, romantic, romantic dinner, sarcasm
So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

0

2 months ago

call, community, creepy, Creepy Steve, crime, humor, just, last, man, missing, never, podcast, police, response, seen, steve, true, true crime, week, woman, young
Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

0

2 months ago

adult, adults, being, children, funny statement, humor, should, statement, twin, twins

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Facebook this month:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

83 shares on X this month:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

44 shares on Threads this month:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Trending via Pinterest:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Going viral on Telegram:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Trending via Reddit:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Just shared via Snapchat:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Going viral on Twitch:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Trending via Facebook:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Going viral on X:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨