Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

If I were a mouse and I lived in Moscow, I would think, haha, I live in Mousecow!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,488

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Just landed via Threads:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Trending via YouTube:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Seen just now on Slack:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Seen just now on Instagram:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your heart says 'ride or die,' but your brain says 'hide or cry' 😂💔👊"

breakup, embarrassment, gangsta, humor, last, me, relationship, relationships

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

1 month ago

20, finding, human, humor, jeans, luck, money, old, surprise, version
You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

1 week ago

48, 48 Laws of Power, book, humor, laws, me, power
Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

4 months ago

annoyance, annoying, humor, media, most, remember, shorter, social, social media, thing, think, trying, Twitter, word
Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

2 months ago

fire, hope, humor, joke, liar, own, pant, sarcasm
From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

2 months ago

done, got, guest, guests, hard, home, hospitality, house, housekeeping, humor, i, joke, just, mess, messy, prank, tell, visit
One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, being, box, cardboard, cardboard box, clutter, debate, decision making, everyday, everyday struggle, good, humor, humor about adulthood, much, over, procrastination, self-debate, storage, struggle, thing, time, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Facebook this month:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

30 shares on X this month:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

27 shares on X this month:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Seen just now on Discord:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Breaking via WeChat:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Shared recently on Threads:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Showing my barber a picture of a dinosaur.

Breaking via Messenger:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Going viral on YouTube:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨