Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sorry, honey, can't chat. It's that crucial moment for me and my phone to bond and enrich each other's lives 📱💸 #RelationshipGoals or #PhoneGoals?"

babe, distraction, enrichment, humor, nightly, phone, relationship, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

0

2 months ago

bring, consequences, days, devastation, digestive, digestive system, food, holiday, humor, indulgence, nobody, stuffing, system, warning
I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

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7 days ago

abyss, adventure, around, evening, exploring, humor, i, routine, start, time
Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

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2 months ago

activity, dye, gun, humor, i, joke, just, man, once, paintball, shot, watch
People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

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4 months ago

accusation, accuse, arrogance, delusion, enough, grandeur, humor, me, people, sarcasm, self-confidence, worship
It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

0

2 months ago

announce, announcement, deep, feeling, frustration, heart, heavy, heavy heart, humor, i, irony, job, sadness, work
The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

0

2 months ago

advice, communication, humor, irony, misunderstanding, phrase, rate, success, success rate, take, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

51 shares on X this month:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Live now on TikTok:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Trending via Discord:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Live now on Twitch:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

Seen just now on Slack:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Going viral on Twitch:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨