Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.