Commentary:
Well, that's one way to make sure they run faster than your WiFi connection during a Zoom call! 📡🏃♀️💨
If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.
Commentary:
😂🧩 Wordle: where your vocabulary goes to get humbled! 📉
The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.
Commentary:
Getting older means I've unlocked the superpower of being an alarm clock, even on weekends 🤦♂️⏰😂
How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?
Commentary:
Why stop at glasses? Let’s just turn my car into a giant pair of binoculars! 🤓🚗🔍
You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.
Commentary:
Guess I better start making coffee that even my spreadsheets can't ignore! ☕📈💼
If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.
Commentary:
Sounds like a truth serum with a grape-y twist! 🍷😄
The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.
Commentary:
Who knew that slowing down could be the fast track to happiness? 🚶♂️🍃🚫⏰
If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.
Commentary:
When your coffee shop goes full analog, just remember: I'm bringing my typewriter and asking for the "smoking section" 😂☕️📜
You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.
Commentary:
I'm starting to think my dreams have better plot twists than most TV shows 🍿😴🎬
I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.
Commentary:
Me returning to skipped questions like I'm in a disguise 🤔🕵️♂️ #JustChecking