Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a paycheck when you've got a perfectly adorned tree to admire all day? 🎄💁‍♀️ Time to upgrade from employee of the month to ornament placement expert! 💼➡️🌟 #Priorities #LivingMyBestTreeLife"

activity, decorating, focus, fun, fun activity, holiday, humor, job, quitting, tree

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

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2 months ago

annoyance, everyday, everyday situation, full, home, homes, humor, lot, me, parking, parking lot, people, sarcasm, situation
It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

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2 months ago

amazing, attitude, both, cat, cats, ears, humor, ignore, ignoring, pet
My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

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2 months ago

advice, asylum, friends, give, health, humor, i, irony, mental, mental health, self-awareness, toxic, toxic trait, trait
In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

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2 months ago

America, contrast, humor, movie, reception, ship, Titanic, well
Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

0

2 months ago

bro, case, drop, form, funny observation, humor, jealousy, mouth, observation, relationship, stair, staircase, tongue, wife
Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

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2 months ago

corner, hatred, imagine, just, losing, me, religion, sitting, spotlight

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

53 shares on Slack this month:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Going viral on WeChat:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Spotted on Slack:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Seen just now on Discord:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨