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Commentary:
"Who needs a paycheck when you've got a perfectly adorned tree to admire all day? 🎄💁‍♀️ Time to upgrade from employee of the month to ornament placement expert! 💼➡️🌟 #Priorities #LivingMyBestTreeLife"

activity, decorating, focus, fun, fun activity, holiday, humor, job, quitting, tree

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

5 months ago
call, cause, definitely, glitch, humor, me, mess, system, technology
Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

1 month ago
baby, being, cry, eviction, humor, joke, newborn, parenting
When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

1 month ago
age, Boomers, brain, brain damage, children, Covid, damage, damaged, explain, fate, lead, much, old, old age, opinions
On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

1 month ago
chores, dishes, downside, help, helping, humor, kids, parenting, upside
Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

1 month ago
20, around, ask, demand, fun, having, humor, independence, money, parenting, right, teens, turn
Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

1 month ago
behavior, cashier, day, everyone, except, good, humor, morning, people, social, social behavior, talk

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

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Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Going viral on Reddit:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Trending via WeChat:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Just landed via Messenger:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

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Activity Log ✨

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

That fight could’ve been an email.

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

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Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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