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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,363

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

May the algorithms be with you.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Going bananas on Threads:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Just shared via Twitch:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

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Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.
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Commentary:
Embrace your inner legend with confidence! Reality is overrated! 😎✨📚

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on YouTube this month:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Please hesitate to reach out.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

82 shares on X this month:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,381

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Dear Santa, Money!

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Just landed via X:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Spreading quickly via X:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Spotted on Pinterest:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Going viral on Slack:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Going viral on WeChat:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

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