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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,844

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Trending via WeChat:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Just landed via X:

Your opinions are not my business.

Making waves on Instagram:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Going viral on Telegram:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Making waves on Slack:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Making waves on Slack:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you're expecting a romantic view but get toe-tally surprised instead! 🤦‍♂️👣🤣"

back, cowgirl, dating, fair, gang, gang signs, humor, joke, perspective, playful, position, reverse, reverse cowgirl, seeing, sex, sex position, sexy, signs, t, throwing, trade, view, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

5 months ago
attraction, boyfriend, Funny, hot, humor, i, know, stranger, strangers, want
Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

3 months ago
apocalypse, Facebook, four, horseman, horsemen, humor, Instagram, joke, maybe, media, social, social media, TikTok, Twitter
My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

2 months ago
alcohol, chocolate, heart, jeans, salad, wine
I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

1 month ago
activitie, adoption, extrovert, friendship, fun, introvert, me, socializing, things
It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

3 months ago
energy, exhaustion, humor, inside, much, retail, shopping, Walmart
I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

1 month ago
Christmas, communication, expectations, gift, hello, holiday, humor, i, letter, only, relationship, Santa, say, short, something, touch, want, week

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Trending via Reddit:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Shared recently on Threads:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

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Activity Log ✨

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Avocado is just green butter.

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

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Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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