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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

3 hours ago

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Seen just now on Discord:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Spotted on Slack:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

5 months ago

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, who says you can't conquer an empire in style? 👠🛡️ Those Roman soldiers sure knew how to make a statement on the battlefield! Fashion-forward warriors, bringing a whole new meaning to the term "fighting in style." 💃💪 Just imagine their enemies' reactions when they showed up in those short, yet tasteful leather skirts! 🤣 #FashionablyFierce #RomanChic

ancient, ancient Rome, comedy, costume, fashion, fight, going, historical, historical comedy, humor, leather, leather skirt, roman, Roman soldier, Rome, short, skirt, soldier

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New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

3 hours ago

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Live now on LinkedIn:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Just landed via Discord:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Just shared via TikTok:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

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