Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,630

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Shared recently on Messenger:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Spotted on WeChat:

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Just landed via Twitch:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Spotted on Discord:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Rudeness level: Just enough to make sure nonsense has left the chat! 😏✋🤣

assertiveness, communication, fancy, humor, important, little, nonsense, rudeness, sometimes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

0

2 months ago

90, accordion, awareness, humor, instrument, musical, musical instrument, realize, sentence, study, surprise, wordplay
Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

0

2 months ago

always, am, cold, colleague, colleagues, everyone, everything, humor, hungry, i, personality, relatable, self-deprecation, tired, workplace
Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

0

2 months ago

autumn, change, climate, climate change, coffee, denial, deny, earlier, every, humor, irony, pumpkin, pumpkin spice, season, spice, still, trends, year
Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

0

2 months ago

dental, dental visit, dentist, everyone, hate, humor, irony, try, visit, weigh
Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

0

5 months ago

business, enough, go out of business, humor, i, job, leave, leaving, need, quitting, revenge, sarcasm, workplace
Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, behind, dog, every, follows, humor, independence, independent, pet, strong, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on TikTok this month:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

55 shares on X this month:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

70 shares on Slack this month:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Live now on WeChat:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Making waves on Reddit:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Making waves on Reddit:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Going viral on Facebook:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨