Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sorry I’m late, blame it on the washing machine's sneaky time management skills! 🕒🧺 Maybe next time I should double-check if it’s on ‘spin cycle’ or ‘time warp’ mode! ⏳😆"

chores, cycle, excuse, household, household chores, humor, i, late, left, machine, minute, only, procrastination, sorry, washing, washing machine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, comments, emoji, every, extinguisher, fire, fire extinguisher, flame, girl, humor, i, jealousy, keep, mad, me, pictures, relationship
Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

0

2 months ago

attractiveness, bro, gender, hairstyle, hot, humor, only, ponytail, woman, women
Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

0

2 months ago

asking, donation, every, humor, me, question, request, sarcasm, someone, time, Wikipedia
Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

0

2 months ago

advice, birth, birth control, control, humor, i, inspiration, parenting, relationship
That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

0

2 months ago

addicted, addiction, feel, feel good, feeling, good, humor, i, me, motivation, positive, positive feeling, self-improvement, think
My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

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3 months ago

diet, eating, hours, humor, journey, just, loss, meal, meals, three, time, weight, weight loss

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

68 shares on X this month:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

50 shares on Discord this month:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Just shared via Facebook:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Breaking via Telegram:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Going viral on Telegram:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Going viral on X:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Making waves on Discord:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Making waves on TikTok:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨