Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Love is in the air fryer.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,254

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Just shared via Discord:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Breaking via TikTok:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Trending via WeChat:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Trending via Facebook:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Seen just now on Reddit:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
Just pausing your scroll to sprinkle some good vibes and remind you that the universe didn't forget about your Amazon wishlist 😄🛒✨

better, encouragement, hope, humor, i, interrupt, interruption, life, media, scrolling, social, social media, sorry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

0

2 months ago

always, feel, feeling, five, humor, lasts, minutes, relatability, time, weekend, why
Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

0

2 months ago

am, communication, humor, i, identity, language, literally, nothing, usage, word, word usage, words
I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

0

2 months ago

change, changes, control, convenience, everything, first time, humor, i, myself, observation, remember, remote, saw, technology, thought, time, universal, universal remote
You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

0

2 months ago

cry, crypto, finance, humor, investment, joke, pun, spell, wordplay
No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

0

2 months ago

applause, behavior, comedy, crowd, entertainment, humor, irony, ovation, people, public, public behavior, sarcastic, situation, social, social situation, standing, standing ovation, start
I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

0

2 months ago

choice, event, fall, food, humor, i, invitation, just, move, neighborhood, planning, potluck, social, social event

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

90 shares on Discord this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

40 shares on Discord this month:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

84 shares on X this month:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Trending via Discord:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Spotted on Messenger:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Trending via Pinterest:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Just shared via Telegram:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨