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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,724

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Shared recently on Slack:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Broadcasted on X:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Breaking via Instagram:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Trending via Telegram:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Trending via Reddit:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Going viral on X:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Seen just now on X:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

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Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.
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Commentary:
"When your dinner is playing hard to get… 🍣🤣 Chopstick mastery or modern art in progress?" 🥢🎨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

23 shares on Discord this month:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,264

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Seen just now on Threads:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Making waves on Messenger:

I need a break from me.

Going bananas on TikTok:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Just landed via Slack:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Just shared via TikTok:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Breaking via Snapchat:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Shared recently on Reddit:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Just shared via TikTok:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

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