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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has copied:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡² has shared:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has bookmarked:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has shared:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has copied:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on Slack:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Just landed via Slack:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Going viral on Instagram:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Going bananas on X:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Spotted on Twitch:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Trending via Messenger:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Going viral on Facebook:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

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Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.
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Commentary:
"When your dinner is playing hard to get… 🍣🀣 Chopstick mastery or modern art in progress?" πŸ₯’🎨

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

58 shares on Threads this month:

The term β€œdomestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

82 shares on X this month:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

61 shares on X this month:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph β€” I prefer the term β€œthe alien from Alien.”

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,668

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡° has viewed:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has viewed:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has shared:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has shared:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Live now on WhatsApp:

Took a break from Twitter for my mental health, so I’d figure I’d come back to ruin it again.

Spreading quickly via X:

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

Trending via Threads:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Trending via TikTok:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Just landed via Facebook:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The government even made aliens boring.

Just shared via X:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Spotted on Instagram:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

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