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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”
  • Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.
  • The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.
  • “Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.
  • Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.
  • Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.