Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

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I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

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I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

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At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

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The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

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Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

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Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

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No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.