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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Breaking via Twitch:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Shared recently on Discord:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Breaking via Twitch:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Just shared via Facebook:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Trending via Pinterest:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

Breaking via Snapchat:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

Going viral on Discord:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Trending via WhatsApp:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about pretending family ties are close despite not being real.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally made it official! 🎉👨‍👩‍👧‍👦😂

family, humor, me, parent, parents, relationship, sarcasm, telling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

3 months ago

budget, debt, finance, financial, financial struggle, frustration, humor, i, money, personal, personal finance, self-control, shopping, spend, spending, struggle, understand, want
I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

2 weeks ago

adore, affection, behavior, bet, cat, feels, funny observation, good, headbutt, i, observation, pet, pet behavior, someone
I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

2 weeks ago

humor, inactivist, irony, lazy, motivation, procrastination
No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

1 week ago

am, employment, humor, i, job, LinkedIn, open, required, sarcasm, work
I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

1 week ago

accident, accidentally, car, driving, hit, humor, i, irony, joke, left, mishap, next, note, parked, parked car, time, warning
I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

1 week ago

cat, drink, drinking, every, help, humor, i, job, let, pay, pet, rent, smell, sommelier, wine

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

49 shares on Reddit this month:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

34 shares on WeChat this month:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Just shared via Telegram:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Live now on Threads:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Shared recently on Threads:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Seen just now on Threads:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Spotted on Snapchat:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Spotted on Twitch:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Keep the laugh going 😂

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨