Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Seen just now on Threads:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Going viral on Slack:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Live now on WeChat:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Spotted on Reddit:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Live now on Facebook:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Spotted on Discord:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wishing for a "Sugar Daddy Santa" website where dreams come true and funds mysteriously appear! 🎅💸✨

anonymous, anonymous gift, charity, gift, gift giving, give, giving, know, money, people, person, philanthropy, post, rich, rich person, should, website, where, wish, wishes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

0

2 months ago

brand, consumerism, humor, loyal, loyalty, sale, shopping, whatever
I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

0

2 months ago

always, buy, contradiction, expensive, humor, i, irony, say, shopping, spending
Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

0

2 months ago

being, bilingual, both, comedy, communication, humor, languages, learning, means, stuttering
God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

0

2 months ago

animals, chicken, creation, duck, give, God, humor, kazoo, waterproof
I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

0

2 months ago

appeal, competition, golf, i, least, leisure, sport, where, winner
Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

0

2 months ago

carbohydrate, clever, course, drink, humor, hydrated, i, nutrition, pun, stay, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Telegram this month:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Seen just now on Discord:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Trending via Facebook:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Going bananas on Messenger:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Spotted on Reddit:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Spotted on Telegram:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Going viral on WeChat:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Just landed via Reddit:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨