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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I am half agony, half hope.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,887

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Going bananas on Twitch:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Just shared via Threads:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Broadcasted on X:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Just shared via WeChat:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Just shared via Threads:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Just landed via Twitch:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

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There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.
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Commentary:
Ah, the majestic symphony of crackling flames as they consume the evidence of all those questionable decisions. 🔥🔥 Who needs a shredder when you have a cozy fire to handle your problems? Just be sure to invite some marshmallows for a guilt-free alibi! 😉🔥

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on TikTok this month:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

65 shares on X this month:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

55 shares on Threads this month:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,999

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Making waves on Instagram:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Live now on WhatsApp:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Going bananas on X:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

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