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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,954

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Freshly posted on Threads:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Shared recently on X:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

Breaking via TikTok:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Going viral on Instagram:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"They realized it was just the camera's way of saying 'I see you!' 📸😈😅"

before, demon, eyes, humor, joke, killed, misunderstanding, paranormal, people, photograph, photography, red, stuff, supernatural, superstition, turned

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

1 month ago
bf, dating, gf, humor, i, ID, irony, relationship
Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

1 month ago
anything, best, best shot, bot, creativity, give, humor, ID, ignore, instructions, life, me, onions, poem, real, real life, saying, shot, someone, told, whatever
“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

1 month ago
eat, food, friends, fry, humor, just, mine, relationship, sharing, yours
Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

2 weeks ago
am, fire, head, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, never, nonchalant, personality, self-awareness, soul, unfortunately, well
My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

1 month ago
communication, dating, headphones, hear, humor, i, interaction, men, move, relationship, signature, signature move, social, social interaction, tell
I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

1 month ago
after, deserve, dragon, exaggeration, fantasy, humor, i, resilience, reward, sarcasm, through

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Trending via Facebook:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Spotted on YouTube:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Going viral on Facebook:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Trending via Threads:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Making waves on Threads:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

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Activity Log ✨

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

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They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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