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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,275

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Making waves on Messenger:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Going viral on Threads:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Just landed via Threads:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Just landed via TikTok:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Spotted on X:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Going viral on WeChat:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

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They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the great snowflake mystery… 🤔❄️ Who's out there meticulously inspecting each flake for uniqueness, I wonder? Maybe a team of very dedicated tiny scientists armed with magnifying glasses! 🔍🔬 Or perhaps it's just Mother Nature's way of keeping us entertained! 🌬️😆 #SnowflakeInspector"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

64 shares on Threads this month:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

87 shares on Slack this month:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t study, get slutty!

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes you have to sit back and imagine what life could be if it wasn’t a horrifying nightmare.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,695

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Spotted on YouTube:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Trending via X:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Just shared via Messenger:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Just shared via Messenger:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Shared recently on Telegram:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

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