Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,532

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Just shared via Twitch:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Going viral on TikTok:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Shared recently on X:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Going viral on Reddit:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Shared recently on Threads:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

2 months ago

0

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the great snowflake mystery… 🤔❄️ Who's out there meticulously inspecting each flake for uniqueness, I wonder? Maybe a team of very dedicated tiny scientists armed with magnifying glasses! 🔍🔬 Or perhaps it's just Mother Nature's way of keeping us entertained! 🌬️😆 #SnowflakeInspector"

actually, check, different, every, humor, irony, joke, nature, observation, say, snowflake, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

0

1 month ago

6, 6 p.m., air, around, call, energy, feel, funny observation, i, meeting, microsoft, Microsoft Teams, observation, p.m., remote, remote work, Sunday, swear, Teams, video, video call, work, work meeting
Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

0

2 months ago

cook, humor, relationship, shower, temperature, water, women
My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

0

2 months ago

around, cat, cats, dynamics, humor, husband, just, me, order, pets, relationship
I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

0

2 months ago

asleep, good, good morning, humor, morning, morning routine, routine, sarcasm, sleep, wakefulness
My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

0

2 months ago

9, around, estimate, going, home, humor, i, job, jobs, money, night, plan, quit, relationship, run, tonight, travel, well, wife
You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

0

2 months ago

always, appearance, humor, identity, masculinity, mustache, performative, representative, spirit, tell, true

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

61 shares on X this month:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

15 shares on Telegram this month:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

January is the Monday of the year.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Going viral on Telegram:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Trending via Discord:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Making waves on Reddit:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Breaking via TikTok:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Making waves on Instagram:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Shared recently on Facebook:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

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