Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,259

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Just shared via YouTube:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Making waves on Reddit:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Making waves on Slack:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Spotted on Threads:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Going viral on Instagram:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Spotted on Threads:

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally, a solution for my secret identity complex! 🤦‍♂️🔒✨

checkbox, experience, humor, invent, login, meaningless, should, signed, stay, stay signed in, technology, user, user experience

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

0

2 months ago

bag, bag of salad, boxed, boxed wine, comparison, food, food comparison, humor, salad, vegetable, vegetables, wine
We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

0

2 months ago

advertising, commercials, creativity, fix, going, help, humor, media, need, should
My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

0

2 months ago

age, doing, excuses, humor, i, moods, old, reluctance, sober, time, tired
The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

0

2 months ago

comparison, dark, day, exhaustion, full, humor, meetings, night, same, same thing, terrors, thing, work
The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

0

2 months ago

aggression, archery, conflict, guy, humor, i, inventor, irony, joke, man, over, stab
I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

0

2 months ago

ask, asking, color, confusion, difference, even, fear, gray, grey, humor, i, know, language, scared, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on WeChat this month:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

24 shares on X this month:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Shared recently on X:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Spotted on Reddit:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Spotted on Threads:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Going viral on Discord:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Just shared via Messenger:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Shared recently on Instagram:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨