Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,705

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Making waves on Reddit:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Breaking via Threads:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Making waves on Threads:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Adding "whereupon" makes me sound like a medieval scribe trying to get through a 9-5! 📜😂

communication, email, emails, fun, humor, keep, language, office, throwing, today, vocabulary, wordplay, work, work email, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

0

2 months ago

attractive, else, humor, loneliness, me, mosquito, nobody, self-deprecation
Muting morons is good for your health.

0

2 months ago

good, health, humor, moron, muting, positivity, self-care, wellness
Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

0

4 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, dating, getting, getting the ick, ick, moment, peeve, pet, pet peeve, put, rate, windshield, windshield wiper, wiper
Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

0

2 months ago

bad, bad intention, greeting, humor, intention, intentions, sarcasm, worst
When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

0

2 months ago

cray-cray, exaggeration, expression, humor, me, people, reaction, slang, vom-vom
Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

0

2 months ago

craving, ever, food, humor, i, italian, love, never, never tired, pasta, something, think, tired

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Spotted on TikTok:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Going viral on Telegram:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Going viral on Slack:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Going viral on Reddit:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Trending via Pinterest:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Spotted on YouTube:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Muting morons is good for your health.

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨