Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Just landed via WeChat:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Just landed via Instagram:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Just landed via WeChat:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

Just shared via Messenger:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Accidentally turning laughter into disaster—talk about a side-splitting mix-up! 😂🤣

accident, crime, death, humor, man, manslaughter, tickle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

0

3 months ago

alone, alone time, apartment, freedom, i, independence, live, living, living alone, oh, personal, personal space, solitude, space, time, want, whatever
My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

0

2 months ago

came, cat, cats, communication, home, humor, i, late, me, pet, relationship, talk, work
A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

0

2 months ago

clever, clever man, closet, clothes, fit, humor, jealousy, man, other man, relationship, wife’s, wife’s closet
Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

0

2 months ago

aspirations, career, five, humor, interview, job, job interview, life, me, procrastination, sabbatical, where, work, work life, yourself
Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

0

5 months ago

after, after work, close, coping, coping mechanism, drinking, drunk, humor, i, joke, just, mechanism, quitting, work
Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

0

6 months ago

alone, bed, different, discomfort, feels, i, know, last, means, myself, neck, neck pain, night, pain, sleep, spot, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

11 shares on X this month:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

95 shares on X this month:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

89 shares on Threads this month:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Spotted on Reddit:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Going viral on Telegram:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Making waves on Facebook:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Spotted on WeChat:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨