Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.
  • Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”
  • What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.
  • I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.
  • Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.
  • I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.