Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Breaking via Slack:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Spotted on Facebook:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Trending via Facebook:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Shared recently on Reddit:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Spotted on Reddit:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Live now on Instagram:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!

2 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Honestly, I think my car is just trying to play freeze tag with me every time I stop at a light 🚦😂 #QuitPlayingGamesWithMyHeart"

auto, auto start-stop, car, car feature, cars, complaint, driver, driver frustration, feature, frustration, humor, mandate, should, square, start-stop, technology, town, vehicle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

0

2 months ago

good, humor, i, problem creating, problem-solving, self-deprecation, shine, skill, skills, where, wit
Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

0

2 months ago

angel, call, communication, guardian, guardian angel, humor, relationship, supernatural
As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

0

5 months ago

again, alive, begin, humor, i, life, perseverance, repetition
The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

0

2 months ago

asked, coffee, difference, humor, i, opinion, preference, request, sarcasm
Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

0

5 months ago

comparison, condiment, derogatory, explain, food, food humor, funny comparison, honey, hot, hot honey, humor, know, pickleball, slang
Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

0

2 months ago

am, change, clothes, clothing, clothing struggle, going, humor, i, okay, readiness, ready, season, season change, seasonal, seasonal humor, struggle, summer, summer clothes, transition, weather, weather transition, winter, winter clothes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Slack this month:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

78 shares on Slack this month:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

44 shares on Slack this month:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Do vape shops and nail salons actually make money, or is my town’s economy one big laundering scheme?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Just shared via Facebook:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Just shared via Threads:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Trending via Pinterest:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨