Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,337

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Going viral on Messenger:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Trending via WeChat:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Breaking via Telegram:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Live now on Threads:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Just landed via Discord:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Going viral on TikTok:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Trending via Snapchat:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Exactly! Sugar's the real MVP when your 'lettuce' down! 🧁🥳😂"

comfort, companionship, everyone, food, friendship, humor, irony, lettuce, sad, sadness, sugar, support, sure, things, why, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

0

2 months ago

afford, bill, color, different, expense, finance, humor, i, irony, pay, same, sarcasm, well
“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

0

2 months ago

anything, communication, humor, policy, privacy, privacy policy, sarcasm, technology, tell, update, us, why
Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

0

2 months ago

asked, attitude, frustration, humor, i, me, motivation, rebellious, reluctance, sarcasm, teen, teenager, teens, wanted
You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

0

1 week ago

analysis, dream, dream analysis, dreams, ever, humor, impressed, narrative, narrative structure, sleep, structure, wake, wake up
Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

0

2 months ago

again, Britain, case, catchphrase, clever, forename, hello, humor, i, identity, joke, missed, real, spy, surname, tell
I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

0

2 months ago

cube, humor, i, ice, ice cube, joke, just, melt, patience, staring, talent

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on TikTok this month:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

70 shares on Threads this month:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

62 shares on Threads this month:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

93 shares on X this month:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

Going viral on Threads:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Spotted on Slack:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Just shared via Twitch:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Seen just now on Threads:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨