Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,263

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Going viral on Twitch:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Making waves on Threads:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Live now on Snapchat:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Just landed via Threads:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Live now on Threads:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Four yogurts or four-day weeks: one must crumble to chaos to restore balance! 🥴🍦📅✨

days, four, humor, humorist, joke, logic, pack, packaging, should, weekdays, work, workweek, yogurt

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

0

2 months ago

anything, ask, attitude, audacity, daily, daily struggle, demand, humor, life, me, motivation, procrastination, sarcasm, sheer, struggle, today
Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

0

2 months ago

forget, humor, i, memory, pillow, sleep, want, where
Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

0

2 months ago

am, crossing, drivers, humor, i, point, prove, prove point, underestimate, willingness, zebra, zebra crossing
One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, age, birthday, growing, growing up, humor, life, older, reflection, still, today, year
Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

0

2 months ago

actual, appliance, dryer, friends, humor, just, machine, relationship, think, washing, washing machine, work, work friends
A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

0

3 days ago

activity, cabin, getaway, hot, hot tub, leisure, log, log cabin, outdoor, outdoor activity, perfect, relaxation, right, sounds, tub, vacation, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Discord this month:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

66 shares on Discord this month:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Wake me when AI does housework.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

92 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

87 shares on X this month:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

My life is based on a true story.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Shared recently on X:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Spotted on Messenger:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Trending via Slack:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Spotted on TikTok:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Going viral on Messenger:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Spotted on X:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨