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Commentary:
"2020: The year that left us all screaming 'no refunds!' 💸🙅‍♂️ Here's to hoping that 2021 comes with a better script and a much happier ending! 🎬😅 #YearToForget"

again, experience, humor, life, me, pay, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you love someone, let them sleep.

2 months ago

advice, affection, care, humor, let, love, relationship, sleep, someone
You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

2 months ago

count, date, dating, going, humor, joke, me, relationship, sarcasm
If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

2 months ago

again, away, exhaustion, forest, humor, insomnia, night, parenting, running, running away, sleep, tiredness, toddler, tonight
“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

2 months ago

adventure, course, day, full, full moon, going, half, humor, i, ID, logic, love, moon, point, space, trip
Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

2 months ago

clean, creature, creatures, Disney, help, humor, i, just, laundry, me, set, sing, standards, unrealistic, unrealistic standards, window, woodland, woodland creature
Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

5 months ago

dog, dogs, food, food joke, hot, hot dog, humor, joke, mouth, phrase, put, where, words

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

20 shares on Threads this month:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

51 shares on Discord this month:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

27 shares on Threads this month:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

54 shares on Threads this month:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Being strange is exhausting.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Just shared via Reddit:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Just landed via Threads:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Breaking via WeChat:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

Going viral on Slack:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

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Activity Log ✨

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you love someone, let them sleep.

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨