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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,526

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Spotted on X:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Making waves on Telegram:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Breaking via Threads:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Making waves on Messenger:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like we're a couple of typographical opposites—guess we'll just have to 'LOL' about it! 😆😂 #HahaVsLol"

communication, compatibility, girl, guy, humor, joke, just, laughter, lol, relationship, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, me, parents, practice, raise, rude, sarcasm, upbringing, wit
Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

0

2 months ago

always, avoidance, high, high school, humor, ID, me, nostalgia, reunion, saw, school, seen, someone, year’s
“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

0

5 months ago

anyone, anywhere, avoiding, avoiding people, distancing, eyes, great, home, humor, i, introvert, money, open, people, saving, saving money, social, social distancing, staying, staying home
Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

0

4 weeks ago

commentary, communication, fluent, humor, identity, language, man, ordering, social, social commentary, straight, straight man, they/them, woke, woke language
I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

0

2 months ago

crazy, fun, humor, just, mentally, personality, self-description, spicy
I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, life, money, priorities, problems, solution, solve, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on X this month:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

64 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

88 shares on Telegram this month:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Trending via Snapchat:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Seen just now on X:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Spotted on WeChat:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Trending via Slack:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Spotted on Facebook:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Going viral on Instagram:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨