Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I am half agony, half hope.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Trending via Facebook:

I love when people say, “In college, I wrote a paper on…” as if that holds any academic merit.

Shared recently on Facebook:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Shared recently on Messenger:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Going viral on Telegram:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Family gatherings are just therapy sessions with snacks 🍪🤪🛋️

adulthood, discovery, family, half, humor, illness, life, life realization, mental, mental illness, mentally, realization

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on X this month:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

18 shares on Discord this month:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

54 shares on X this month:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.

77 shares on Discord this month:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

52 shares on Threads this month:

Hang in there, it gets worse.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Shared recently on X:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Breaking via X:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Just landed via TikTok:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Spotted on Snapchat:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨