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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Going viral on Telegram:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Shared recently on X:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Making waves on Facebook:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Making waves on YouTube:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Shared recently on Slack:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Spotted on WeChat:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Family gatherings are just therapy sessions with snacks 🍪🤪🛋️

adulthood, discovery, family, half, humor, illness, life, life realization, mental, mental illness, mentally, realization

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

0

2 months ago

activity, age, chasing, fitness, humor, ice cream, just, running, someone, truck
The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

0

2 months ago

brella, creation, going, hesitation, humor, inventor, naming, umbrella, wordplay
A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

0

2 months ago

best, boyfriend, coworker, dynamics, friend, friends, friendship, humor, relationship, social, social dynamics, workplace
You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

0

2 months ago

alarm, alarm clock, always, clock, complaints, face, humor, morning, perspective, put, relatable, thing, yourself
I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

0

2 months ago

appearance, casual, confidence, day, humor, impressed, just, public, self-image, ugly
Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

0

2 months ago

bro, entertainment, foreign, foreign language, frustration, humor, language, Netflix, speaking, streaming, subtitles, translate

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on X this month:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

88 shares on Discord this month:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

10 shares on Instagram this month:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

78 shares on Threads this month:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

85 shares on X this month:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

76 shares on X this month:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Live now on Facebook:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨