Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,556

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Trending via Snapchat:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Just shared via Telegram:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Just landed via Messenger:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Shared recently on Messenger:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Trending via WeChat:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Making waves on Slack:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

4 weeks ago

Funny quote about adulthood revealing family mental health surprises.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Family gatherings are just therapy sessions with snacks 🍪🤪🛋️

adulthood, discovery, family, half, humor, illness, life, life realization, mental, mental illness, mentally, realization

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

1 month ago

activity, chair, desk, fast, hate, humor, imagine, just, me, office, spinning, work
When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

4 weeks ago

bad, context, humor, just, mean, right, say, screen, screen time, time, work
I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

4 weeks ago

actually, body, body image, clothing, comfort, exaggeration, fashion, fitting, humor, i, image, much, oversized, oversized T-shirt, size, t-shirt, wear
Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

4 weeks ago

20, cost, countdown, Friday, humor, humor quote, minutes, Monday, sarcasm, stress, time, weekend, workweek
“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

1 month ago

activity, comparison, cool, cruise, humor, i, okay, own, self, stunts, tom, Tom Cruise
This meeting could have been an unread email.

1 month ago

email, humor, meeting, office, productivity, sarcasm, time-wasting, unread, work

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

54 shares on X this month:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

22 shares on Threads this month:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

89 shares on Slack this month:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

64 shares on X this month:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Spotted on Threads:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Just landed via Reddit:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Trending via Slack:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Just shared via Slack:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Women don’t like me, so I’m going to spend all my money on a jacket.

Making waves on YouTube:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Making waves on Facebook:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨