Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,515

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Shared recently on Discord:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Going viral on Instagram:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Spotted on WeChat:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Trending via Facebook:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

Trending via Threads:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Trending via Telegram:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just had to call the doctor's office and ask for an adultier adult to take over 📞🤦‍♂️🧑‍⚕️

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

91 shares on Discord this month:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

98 shares on X this month:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Icarus loved hot wings.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

25 is the new 0 years old.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,757

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Half princess, half menace.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Going viral on Messenger:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Trending via Snapchat:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Just shared via Facebook:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Spotted on Discord:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Making waves on Pinterest:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Going viral on Slack:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴