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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,036

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Just landed via Messenger:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Live now on TikTok:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Going viral on Discord:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Spotted on Telegram:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Seen just now on Threads:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

4 weeks ago

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Commentary:
Just had to call the doctor's office and ask for an adultier adult to take over 📞🤦‍♂️🧑‍⚕️

adulting, call, communication, even, humor, making, motivation, phone, phone call, procrastination, responsibility, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

1 month ago
age, aging, consider, current, humor, i, joke, last, me, picture, self-image, selfie, taken, ten, time, where
Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

1 month ago
absurdity, beef, existence, food, ground, humor, imagination, joke, sky, wordplay
When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

1 month ago
animal, animals, around, attention, behavior, care, communication, cute, follow, following, gratitude, interaction, lead, pet, pet behavior, place, still, sure, thank, turning, yes
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

2 months ago
energy, full, humor, know, me, moment, morning, morning routine, motivation, procrastination, relatable, routine, wait, work
I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

1 month ago
grow, growth, humor, i, need, needs, perspective, resilience, skin, thick, thick skin, thorns, world
People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

1 month ago
ask, call, communication, humor, i, interaction, people, question, sarcasm, social, social interaction, sweet, sweetness

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Just landed via Facebook:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Going viral on Threads:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Never trust a wet fart.

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

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Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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