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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ป has shared:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. Heโ€™s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

Wake up, thereโ€™s overthinking to be done.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

I have good problem solving skills, but my problem creating skills are where I really shine.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ด๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

My neighbor wonโ€™t stop talking about his Rolex and I canโ€™t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ด๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all Iโ€™m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside youโ€™ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Kรคse scenario.

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All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Commentary:
When kids ask for a snack right as you sit down, they must have a PhD in Impossibletimingology! ๐Ÿช๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜…

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now Iโ€™m fat and dumb.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

If I block you and you email me, youโ€™re getting another chance.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

If weโ€™re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

My favorite pirate song is โ€œAye of the Tigerโ€

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I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Iโ€™m at a point in life where Iโ€™m just at a point.