Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,681

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Breaking via Threads:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Breaking via Twitch:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Live now on Slack:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Just shared via TikTok:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When kids ask for a snack right as you sit down, they must have a PhD in Impossibletimingology! 🍪🕰️😅

ask, asking, born, childhood, family, humor, kids, know, parenting, sense, sixth, sixth sense, something, time, timing, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

0

2 months ago

currency, finance, humor, i, lot, miss, money, nostalgia, value, wealth
It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

0

2 months ago

bath, bird, bird bath, brunch, chipmunk, heat, hot, hot tub, humor, menu, Mimosa, summer, tub, using
People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

0

2 months ago

change, demon, eyes, glowing, humor, nostalgia, people, photograph, red, used
God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

0

2 months ago

animals, cat, eat, flakes, food, frosted, Frosted Flakes, God, going, humor, invention, likes, okay, tiger
You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

0

1 month ago

comfort, comfort zone, humor, interaction, invitation, leave, mine, personality, should, social, social interaction, zone
I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

0

2 months ago

bottle, gym, holder, i, just, put, saw, someone, treadmill, water

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Slack this month:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

53 shares on Threads this month:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Being a writer means canceling your plans so you have time to write, and then spending hours avoiding writing.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Going viral on X:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Breaking via Instagram:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Trending via Discord:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Shared recently on Threads:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Spotted on Threads:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Going bananas on Slack:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Just landed via Threads:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Going viral on Instagram:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨