Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.
  • Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.
  • Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.
  • It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.
  • At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.
  • I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.