Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Just shared via WeChat:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Shared recently on Twitch:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Making waves on Discord:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Just landed via YouTube:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Just shared via WeChat:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

4 days ago

Witty text highlighting human suffering caused by a single apple bite, humorous and playful.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🍎🌎🤔 "Imagine causing millennia of suffering and chaos just by taking a bite out of an innocent apple! 🤷‍♂️ Who knew fruits could have such dramatic consequences? 🙈 Maybe next time, stick to bananas or strawberries to avoid all this trouble! 😆"

apple, consequence, Earth, humor, irony, once, someone, suffering

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Messenger this month:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

81 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Long shower. Fresh sheets. Hair braided. Lights off. Candle glowing. Room smells incredible. Airplane crash videos on.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

100 shares on Threads this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only dead on the outside.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,659

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Trending via Twitch:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Spotted on Instagram:

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

Just shared via Threads:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Just landed via YouTube:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Shared recently on Messenger:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Shared recently on Twitch:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

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