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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,024

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Breaking via Slack:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Just shared via Telegram:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
When your dance moves become less "mystic mambo" and more "ordinary oops" 💃🤔😆

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

1 month ago
best, cutting, diagonally, dish, food, horizontally, humor, joke, revenge, sandwich, wit
Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

1 month ago
everything, fun, funnier, humor, inappropriate, laughter, quiet, situation, times
Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

1 month ago
change, clever, clever expressions, daylight, daylight investing, daylight savings, enough, expressions, humor, investing, management, need, play, play on words, savings, time, time change, time management, words
Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

1 month ago
chop, chopping, cooking, crispy, delicious, food, foreplay, great, humor, i, joke, oven, peel, peeling, pieces, roast, roasting, where
I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

1 month ago
accusation, being, humor, irony, plagiarist, wit, words
In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

1 month ago
challenge, comedy, deadline, event, events, funny situation, humor, i, karate, learn, learning, morning, need, situation, tomorrow, turn, unexpected, unexpected event, urgent

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Just shared via Messenger:

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Spotted on WeChat:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Breaking via Twitch:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Going viral on Discord:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

If you breakdance you buy dance.

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

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Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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