Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,359

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Going bananas on Reddit:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Just shared via TikTok:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Just landed via YouTube:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Making waves on Messenger:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Making waves on Reddit:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Spotted on YouTube:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your dance moves become less "mystic mambo" and more "ordinary oops" 💃🤔😆

affection, babe, communication, humor, humor quote, moved, mysterious, mystery, okay, playful, relationship, romance, ways

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

0

2 months ago

Alt, Ctrl, delete, diet, fat, fitness, humor, joke, tech
A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

0

2 months ago

ago, couple, digital, digital life, escape, humor, internet, irony, life, media, modern, modern life, real, real world, social, social media, technology, today, world
My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

0

2 months ago

activity, eat, favorite, food, humor, pose, sandwich, where, yoga
Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

0

5 months ago

accessibility, care, free, free service, getting, health, humor, mental, mental health, psychology, self, self-care, service, should, therapy, trauma
Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

0

2 months ago

affection, angel, being, compliment, flattery, getting, girl, humor, kiss, public
Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

0

2 months ago

digital, forgot, gone, humor, life, lightbulb, login, man, modern, modern life, password, roommate, technology, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

70 shares on Instagram this month:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

96 shares on X this month:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Breaking via Slack:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨