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$15 for a fast-food meal? Did they add a side of gold nuggets? 🍟💰😂
Author Archives: slickboy
Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…
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Being self-declared "nice" is like adding "world's best musician" to your own playlist 🎶😅😜
Happiness is an inside job.
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Looks like my internal employees need a raise! 😂💼✨
My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”
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If my spirit animal was Wi-Fi, I'd be unstoppable! 📱😂
My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.
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Can't wait for the episodes on 'digestive drama' and 'McMysteries' 🍔🎙️🪱
Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.
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Living the American Dream: accumulating just the right amount of debt to keep life exciting! 💳💸😅
Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).
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When you try to put on your comfy PJs, but end up wearing existential dread instead 😂🛋️🌀
Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.
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Job applications would be so much easier if you could just "buy one, get one free" with your bestie! 🛍️👯♀️💼
I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.
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Counting the days until I can add "divorce party planner" to my resume! 😂💔🎉
Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.
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Trying to convince myself that browsing the web on my laptop builds character, but scrolling through memes on my phone is practically a criminal offense 😂💻📱