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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,744

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Live now on Reddit:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Trending via YouTube:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Going viral on WeChat:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Spotted on Discord:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Broadcasted on Discord:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Just shared via Discord:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Going bananas on X:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Just landed via Reddit:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Trending via Instagram:

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Witty quote about kindness amidst chaos, humorous and playful in tone.
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Commentary:
"Remember, folks, being kind never goes out of style 🔥🌎 Let's sprinkle some kindness around and hope we don't accidentally put out the flames! 😅🔥 #KindnessOverChaos"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on X this month:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine being social on social media.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

27 shares on X this month:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

87 shares on X this month:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone needs to invent a theater seat that forcefully ejects you through the roof if you take your phone out during a movie.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,390

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Spotted on Twitch:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Just landed via Twitch:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Going viral on Instagram:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Going viral on Pinterest:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Just landed via X:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

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