Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.
  • Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.
  • If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.
  • Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.
  • Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.
  • Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.