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Home Funny Quotes Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025
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Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it's written on before Thanksgiving.

Commentary:
"Because nothing says 'I love you' more than ensuring everyone can connect to the Wi-Fi network instead of engaging in meaningful conversations 🤳🏼📶 #ModernPriorities #FamilyBonding"

New funny quotes ✨

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Funny Quotes Mar 7, 2025
No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

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My body is like an elastic band - no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

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The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

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Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

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I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3am coming back from the club.

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3am coming back from the club.

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I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

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Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

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How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

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And is your "sparkling personality" in the room with us now?

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

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I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Funny Quotes Mar 3, 2025
I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

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Funny Quotes Feb 28, 2025
Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

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Noise-canceling headphones aren't enough, I need everyone to shut up.

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Most people think that T-Rexes can't clap because they have short arms, but really it's because they are dead.

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Funny Quotes Feb 28, 2025