Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.