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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Love is in the air fryer.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,247

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Breaking via Discord:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Going viral on Discord:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Going bananas on Slack:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Just shared via Reddit:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew gossiping could replace a gym membership? 🏋️‍♂️🗨️🤣

cardio, carrying, communication, conversation, exercise, fitness, humor

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

0

2 months ago

awesome, coffee, confidence, evolution, humor, i, motivation, need, positivity, self-improvement, state
You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

0

2 months ago

argue, communication, fast, female, humor, relationship, reply
When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

0

2 months ago

around, black, black clothes, clothes, decision, funeral, good, having, humor, look around, remark, response, room, saying, someone, witty, witty remark
Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

0

2 months ago

big, boy, connection, feel, feeling, i, life, missing, never, relationship, romance, summer, sun
In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

0

2 months ago

case, cold, context, day, embarrassment, humor, me, nude, nudes, self-deprecation, should
Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

0

2 months ago

collection, humor, impressive, personality, quirks, strange, strange tendency, tendency

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

83 shares on Slack this month:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

66 shares on X this month:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

65 shares on X this month:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Making waves on Twitch:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Seen just now on Slack:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨