Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,507

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Freshly posted on X:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Just shared via X:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Making waves on Instagram:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Live now on WeChat:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Making waves on YouTube:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Seen just now on Discord:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the avocado made quite an impression! 🥑👩‍🍳 Let's hope it lives up to the hype and doesn't turn out to be 'avo-cadon't'! 😉🎉

avocado, celebration, cheers, food, humor, kitchen, perfectly, ripe, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

0

2 months ago

band, excited, excitement, fan, favorite, favorite band, humor, i, listen, live, music, noise, rain, seeing, someone, sound, white, white noise
I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

0

2 months ago

account, after, bank, bank account, checking, finance, fun, good, hate, having, humor, i, money, regret, spending, time
Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

0

2 months ago

activity, collection, conduct, data, data collection, dating, experiment, fun, fun activity, humor, humor in dating, love, psychological, psychological experiment, research, working
Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

0

2 months ago

back, bro, casual, communication, humor, just, patience, playful, puzzle, reassurance, relationship, right, shell, working, worry
Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

0

2 months ago

away, beginners, freak, freak out, humor, ID, patience, reaction, spontaneity, straight, stress
I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

0

2 months ago

activity, discomfort, drinking, favorite, fun, hobby, humor, i, making, people, sarcasm, still, swearing, time, uncomfortable

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

62 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

62 shares on Slack this month:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

90 shares on Threads this month:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Trending via Twitch:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Going bananas on Facebook:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Just landed via Threads:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Going viral on Instagram:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Trending via Messenger:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨