Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Navigating the dating scene after 40 feels like entering a thrift store where every "new" arrival needs a serious sniff test! 😅🛍️🕵️‍♀️

40, adult, adult dating, after, chance, comparison, damaged, dating, funny comparison, humor, item, least, over, over 40, relationship, second, second chance, smell, store, thrift, thrift store, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, friendship, humor, i, mean, miscommunication, never, reach, reaching, reaching out, social, social awkwardness, thought, thoughtfulness
My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

0

2 months ago

amusement, amusing, chores, cleaning, humor, husband, i, marriage, prince, princess, sing, singing, someday, song, while
At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

0

2 months ago

future, humor, illness, just, procrastination, skip, sore, sore throat, throat, time, time travel, travel
Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, chips, french fries, vegetable, vodka
I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

0

2 months ago

appearance, couple, eyebrow, eyebrow hair, hair, humor, me, personality, self-deprecation, villain, want
My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

0

2 months ago

everything, floor, gravity, humor, irony, messy, mom, parenting, question

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

38 shares on X this month:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Trending via Messenger:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Trending via WeChat:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨