Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Trying to choose between using the healing potion or embracing full-on madness like a chaotic wizard 🧙‍♂️ Decisions, decisions… Maybe insanity will be my new superpower! 😜🤪"

choices, coping, decision, give, give up, heal, health, humor, i, insane, just, mental, mental health, should, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

0

1 month ago

anyone, decision, decisions, ever, every, humor, i, management, morning, procrastination, self-deprecation, time, time management, wake, wake up, worst, worst decision
Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

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2 months ago

bad, bad day, day, every, humor, i, irony, life, life struggle, morning, negativity, single, struggle, woke, woke up
Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

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2 months ago

fitted, fitted sheet, ghost, ghosts, humor, joke, linens, never, notice, observation, sheet, wear
I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

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2 months ago

6, 6 a.m., a.m., am, early, early riser, energy, exercise, fitness, humor, i, lifestyle, morning, morning run, motivation, people, riser, run, runner, want, whatever
I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

0

2 months ago

attitude, gift, gifts, give, holidays, humor, people, personality, sarcasm, year
Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

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3 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, doctor, door, exam, exam room, funny situation, knocking, moment, question, room, saying, situation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Slack this month:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

96 shares on X this month:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

29 shares on Threads this month:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

50 shares on Threads this month:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Making waves on Instagram:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Making waves on Facebook:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Going viral on Telegram:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Spotted on YouTube:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Trending via WeChat:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Shared recently on Slack:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Trending via Messenger:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨