Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,668

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Making waves on YouTube:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Breaking via X:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Shared recently on Discord:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Going viral on Telegram:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Just shared via YouTube:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
HDMI cords are like the reigning champions in the cable world—always connecting and never asking for more than a good plug-in! 🎮📺⚡

cable, cord, dominance, electronics, ever, HDMI, HDMI cord, humor, most, run, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

2 months ago

affleck, again, ben, Ben Affleck, broke, broke up, children, engaged, humor, Jennifer, Jennifer Lopez, life, lopez, love, love life, married, people, relationship, reunited, single, time, whole
One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

2 months ago

bed, Bluetooth, calory, condom, day, fitness, good, humor, innovation, next, relationship, technology, tell, train
I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

2 months ago

before, candidate, child, children, election, future, humor, i, irony, last, lead, play, politics, saw, sign, slow, slow child, us, voted, yard, yard sign
My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

2 months ago

favorite, favorite type, find out, gender, gender reveal, i, just, me, party, reveal, tell, tell me, type, where
I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

2 months ago

anticipation, bed, home, humor, i, tiredness, tomorrow, wait, work, workplace
Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

2 months ago

comedy, great, humor, joke, only, rain, sarcastic, umbrella, want, weather, wet

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on X this month:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

68 shares on Instagram this month:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

In banana years, I am bread.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Shared recently on X:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Going viral on YouTube:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Just shared via Discord:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

Breaking via Slack:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Going viral on Instagram:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Spotted on Threads:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Spotted on Slack:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Just shared via Slack:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨