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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,659

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Just shared via TikTok:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Trending via Threads:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Shared recently on Slack:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Going viral on Reddit:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Just shared via Instagram:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Breaking via TikTok:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

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Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.
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Commentary:
"Who knew 'spinning around a fireball' was in the job description? 🌍🚀😂 #SpaceLife"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Discord this month:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

51 shares on Discord this month:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

90 shares on Slack this month:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

50 shares on Threads this month:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

16 shares on X this month:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

60 shares on WeChat this month:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I only drink when I people.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I can resist everything except temptation.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,442

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Live now on Instagram:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Breaking via Twitch:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Going viral on WeChat:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Making waves on Reddit:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Going viral on Twitch:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

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