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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Jan 7, 2026

3,505

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Just landed via WeChat:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Trending via Twitch:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Trending via WeChat:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Making waves on Instagram:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Trending via Threads:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Spotted on Snapchat:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

2 months ago

0

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Being afraid of failure and lacking motivation – it's like having a GPS but being too scared to hit 'start' on the journey! 🤷‍♂️ Don't worry, failure is just the universe redirecting you to success… with a few detours! 🚗💨"

afraid, failure, fear, humor, irony, motivation, self-deprecation, someone, unmotivated

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

0

2 months ago

culture, disappointment, entertainment, exactly, expectation, humor, joke, know, lol, movie, Netflix, pop, pop culture, streaming
Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

0

2 months ago

affection, bonding, break, children, family, hug, humor, parenting, things, time
I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, beauty, caterpillar, eat, humor, i, laziness, self-care, sleep, transformation, wake, want
They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

0

2 months ago

fun, invent, invention, leisure, long-lasting, relaxation, should, time, time off, weekend
Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

0

2 months ago

activity, daily, daily routine, done, humor, mental, mental activity, overthinking, procrastination, routine, sarcasm, wake, waking, waking up
The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

0

5 months ago

around, body, feel, feeling, humor, literally, moon, ocean, science, think, tide

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Messenger this month:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

68 shares on Telegram this month:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

99 shares on X this month:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,467

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Living la vida taco!

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Going viral on Telegram:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Trending via Slack:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Live now on Facebook:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Live now on X:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Just shared via Facebook:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Trending via Slack:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Breaking via Slack:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

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