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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,348

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Making waves on X:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Trending via Slack:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Trending via Discord:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

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For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.
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Commentary:
"Being afraid of failure and lacking motivation – it's like having a GPS but being too scared to hit 'start' on the journey! 🤷‍♂️ Don't worry, failure is just the universe redirecting you to success… with a few detours! 🚗💨"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on X this month:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

62 shares on Facebook this month:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

71 shares on Threads this month:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

87 shares on Discord this month:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

35 shares on X this month:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,674

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Just landed via Threads:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Shared recently on Discord:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

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