Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Going viral on Discord:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Going viral on Discord:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Seen just now on Threads:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Spotted on Discord:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Proof that even FBI agents can come with a sense of style—and smolder! 🔥🕵️‍♂️👽

character, character name, culture, fox, Fox Mulder, humor, mulder, name, pop, pop culture, sexy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

0

2 months ago

bottom, dented, head, humor, resilience, rock, self-deprecation, struggle
Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

0

2 months ago

20, anniversary, ChatGPT, creative, digital, effort, gift, humor, me, minutes, note, perfect, relationship, romantic, sarcasm, spent, tech, tell, training, try, wife
Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

0

2 months ago

food, grocer, gross, household, household item, humor, item, items, porn, pun, selling, small, wordplay
Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

0

2 months ago

catch, existence, humor, illusion, joke, me, notice, public, real, self-awareness
What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

0

2 months ago

archaeologist, back, digging, discovery, excavation, hand, humor, joke, looking
Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

0

6 days ago

account, authentication, before, code, humor, just, login, microsoft, need, notification, OMG, security, send, sign, sign in, signed, someone, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on X this month:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

33 shares on X this month:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

28 shares on Slack this month:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Making waves on X:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Live now on Pinterest:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Just landed via Discord:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Just shared via TikTok:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨