Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,676

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Just shared via WeChat:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Going viral on Twitch:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Live now on Slack:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

Trending via Slack:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Just shared via YouTube:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Funny 911 quotes

Funny 911 quotes are the perfect blend of emergency and comedy 🚨😂! Whether it’s a silly mix-up or a quick-witted call, these moments show that even in serious situations, humor can save the day. Get ready to laugh out loud at the unexpected and hilarious side of 911 calls—because sometimes, a little fun is the best response! 📞🤣 #EmergencyLOL #ComedyInCrisis

New funny 911 quotes 👇

All funny 911 quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

81 shares on Telegram this month:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

72 shares on X this month:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,643

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Windmill? Big fan.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Just landed via Discord:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Spotted on Instagram:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Just shared via TikTok:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Trending via Facebook:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Spotted on X:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Live now on Slack:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

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