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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,978

Funny Quotes Topics

14,785

Funny Quotes Images

11,978

Updated

51 seconds ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Making waves on Reddit:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Trending via Telegram:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Trending via Slack:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Seen just now on Slack:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Shared recently on Discord:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Spotted on YouTube:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,978

Funny Quotes Topics

14,785

Funny Quotes Images

11,978

Updated

51 seconds ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Just shared via Messenger:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Spotted on YouTube:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Live now on Reddit:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Just landed via Threads:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Going viral on X:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Making waves on Pinterest:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

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