Funny biblical quotes

• Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

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  2 weeks ago

  baptist, biblical, biblical figure, cartoon, cartoon character, character, figure, humor, John, John the Baptist, just, middle, middle name, name, pooh, same, winnie, Winnie the Pooh, wordplay

• So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

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  2 months ago

  biblical, cloud, download, file, humor, man, Moses, pun, tablet, technology, using

• Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

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  2 months ago

  before, biblical, biblical loophole, dog, doggy, doggy style, dogs, follow, heaven, humor, joke, loophole, marriage, me, sex, sin, style

• God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

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  2 months ago

  ark, biblical, creation, divine, Flood, God, humor, i, irony, joke, regret

• Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

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  2 months ago

  Adam, babysitter, biblical, eve, even, humor, i, irony, parenting, sometimes, think

• If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

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  2 months ago

  animal, biblical, bring, creativity, drama, every, humor, i, ID, just, Noah, storytelling

• Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

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  2 months ago

  biblical, humor, intention, loophole, marriage, married, never, premarital, relationship, sex

• I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

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  2 months ago

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• When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

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  2 months ago

  animals, biblical, humor, i, Noah, perspective, realize, wisdom, world

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