Funny biblical quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

  Commentary:
  "Well, looks like even God has some 'buyer's remorse' moments! 😄 Maybe next time Noah should've gone with a bigger boat, perhaps a cruise ship 🚢. Lesson learned: always read the fine print before committing to building arks! 🌊☔️ #RegretfulArkBuilder"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

  Commentary:
  Well, Adam and Eve really started off their parenthood journey on the wrong foot, didn't they? 😂🍎 It's like, you had one job – don't eat the forbidden fruit, but also, find a reliable babysitter! 🤷‍♂️ I bet they wish they had Yelp back in those days! #ParentingFail #BabysitterDrama

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

  Commentary:
  "If I were Noah, I'd definitely stir things up by bringing three of every animal – talk about a wild and chaotic boat party! 🦁🐧🐍 Who needs peace and tranquility when you can have a full-blown zoo on a boat? 🚢🐪🦒 Just imagine the magical chaos and the epic tale that would unfold! 🌪️🌊 #NoahsDramaticArk"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic biblical loophole – taking 'til death do us part' to a whole new level! 😂 Who knew the key to avoiding premarital sex was just never planning on getting married in the first place? 😜 #LifeHacks"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

  Commentary:
  "Watch out, I'll be throwing some Old Testament shade your way! 😂🌾🔥 May your WiFi forever be spotty and your phone always on 1% battery! #BiblicalBurns"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

  Commentary:
  "Looking at the world like… 🌍😅 No wonder Noah only wanted animals on his ark – who needs drama when you've got elephants and pandas as shipmates! 🐘🐼"

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