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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,320

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Just shared via Instagram:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Broadcasted on X:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Just shared via Instagram:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Going bananas on Reddit:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Freshly posted on X:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Just landed via Reddit:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Funny bribe quotes

Funny bribe quotes bring a cheeky twist to the art of persuasion 😜💸 Whether you’re aiming to lighten the mood or crack a smile while negotiating, these witty lines serve up humor with a side of cleverness 🤭✨ Perfect for breaking the ice or just having some fun, they remind us that sometimes, a little laughter is the best incentive! 😂🎉

New funny bribe quotes 👇

All funny bribe quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Threads this month:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like even faster food.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,683

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Going viral on YouTube:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Just landed via Threads:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Trending via Reddit:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

Just landed via Telegram:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Breaking via Facebook:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

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